Well...it could have been worse!?!

I played in Relief Society for the first time yesterday. It was such an emotional week. I don't know how many times I cried and thought I can't do this. I had a stress/tension headache on Sunday and was very emotional. The first song I played was TERRIBLE!!! The last song was actually alright for the most part. My fingers were shaking so badly on both songs it was amazing any sound came out at all. After choir I came home and, you guessed it, cried. Other than the headache, crying and lower self esteem it all worked out! Layne tried to leave me a supportive note before church. It basically said, sometimes the Lord calls us to a position to help others and sometimes he calls us to a position to serve us. So let him. To which I kept thinking, how can a stress headache, emotions out of control and lower self esteem be serving me? Nope...he tried to help but I am not seeing it. I know I am being a "negative nellie". I hope at some point I can look back and say, "I am so glad I received this calling." As for now...not so much.